How to travel as a couple and survive (or not kill) in the attempt

by Ale Werner
Love in Gili Air, Indonesia

Did you know that we went on a trip when we were only 4 months together? Yes, in fact, we bought the tickets when we had been only one month as a couple! Do it sound risky? Well, it was, and we’re not going to lie to you, the first months were of adaptation and that traveling as a couple can unite you or separate you. You face situations that in daily life are not normal and being together 24 hours a day every day can be a real challenge. We survive without knowing each other very much, and we want to give you our best advice on how to travel as a couple, so everything goes great on your own trip with that special person.

Make clear what both of you expects from the trip

When deciding to travel as a couple, either for 2 weeks or for 1 year, it is necessary to put all the cards on the table.

What are the expectations of each one? With what budget are you going to travel? Do you like slow journeys or do you want to know everything you can in a few days in a city? Do you want to sleep in hotels or hostels with a shared room? Do they go in a romantic sunset mode or just want to party with madness?; Do you want to eat in exclusive places or street stalls and expend less money? What do you want to know? … and an infinite etc.

There are thousands of questions and situations that can create conflict in a trip, and before getting excited and buying passages, it is necessary to talk about them. You are a couple and it should not be a problem to reach some agreement points!

Divide the roles

It is important that both of you has their roles; this way, traveling as a couple will be much simpler. At the beginning of our trip the biggest conflict was that we both tried to do everything. Buy the tickets, book the hotels, manage the money, see how to move around, etc. The most important thing for a couple’s trip is that everyone needs to have their roles and tasks, but the most important thing is to let the other do it as they think it is right. If we begin to criticize what the other does from the tasks, the conflict returns … In our case, Ale was in charge of the itinerary and reservation of accommodations; while Jona saw the transports and handled the money.

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Renting a moto - Koh Samui - Thailand

Jona decidiendo que moto arrendar.

 

Respect each other space

Yes, you are a couple, but also you are individual people. Respect the spaces that the other needs. Separating at times is not bad… if one of you does not want to go out to eat one day the other can do it. Traveling should not imply unnecessary pressure on your relationship, it’s about enjoying. In addition, it is important to understand what spaces for the other are important and should never be violated. For example, bedtime, going to the bathroom, read a certain time per day, etc.

Communication

As in any other instance of a relationship, when traveling as a couple it is very important to communicate; talk about the things that bother you and propose solutions to change them. The idea is not to complain about everything but to generate instances to talk about issues that haunt us in the head and are not letting us enjoy as we want to. Communication and non-communication are key to the success of how to travel as a couple.

Memorial Bridge - Pai - Thailand

Hablar es lejos lo más importante

 

It is not necessary to talk all day

When you’ve been on a 24-hour-a-day regime for several days, sometimes the conversation topics tends to decrease. It is not necessary to stress from this situation, you have not stopped loving each other and nothing terrible has happened, there are simply days when the other or you do not want to talk so much.

Remember, while traveling we are still the same people! Or has it never happened to you that one day you wake up in a bad mood and do not want to talk to anyone? These same things can happen while you travel, which should not be a problem.

Let each one decide an activity that wants to do and respect each other decisions without discussing

Here I do not speak only of going to visit places, but of the things that they like to do. Maybe one of you is passionate about knowing the subways and public transportation of all the cities, maybe the other one loves photography and can be hours behind the camera. The important thing is not to abuse, but to respect what the other likes when traveling as a couple. If you love shopping, do not spend all day on that either!

It is important to discuss these issues before traveling as a couple, otherwise, it will be a safe fight and both will have a hard time.

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Camel ride, Wadi Rum, Jordan

Yo (Ale) siempre había querido andar en camello y Jona no. Lo hicimos!

 

 

Dome in the Basilica of Saint Peter - Vatican - Rome - Italy

No estás tras las rejas, ¡así que disfruta!

 

Traveling problems are generally “happy problems”

When we reach our first 3 months traveling discovered that all our problems were “happy”. How can that be? Well, because we were not arguing about not being able to pay the mortgage on the house, or because you did not want to go to the family meal of the other. In general, here the problems are of the type: “this hotel is better than this one”, “do we go by bus or go by plane?”, “Do we move around the city on foot or by taxi?”, Do we visit this temple or this other?”.

If you think about it, all the options are good! There is nothing terrible and if you arrive at a destination by A or B, or visits C or D, you are still traveling and knowing the world, which is what you wanted to do in the first place. So: Happy problems. Remember it every time you argue for a nonsense, and simply make a decision that does not bother anybody and makes you both happy.

How to travel as a couple without fighting? It is impossible, there will always be arguments. But remember: they are happy discussions.

People explode in situations of stress, and a trip can have many.

Of course, situations of stress while traveling are many. Flight cancellations, scams renting a motorcycle, accidents or illnesses, robberies, even once they left us without transport in the middle of Delhi in India! When faced with such situations, people react generally badly, with anger and impotence. Some cry, others shout and some seek for solutions, but never in a happy mood.

Enjoy!

I think this is by far the most important point. Look around and see where you are: traveling the world or knowing a place you always wanted to see. If we are happy and calm, the relationship will tend to be happy and calm, and therefore the journey and experience as well.

The secret of how to travel as a couple is: Enjoy, respect and always remember that you are fulfilling your dream of visiting a place.

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